"Come on now, we're going to go build a mirror-factory first and put out nothing but mirrors for the next year and take a long look in them."
-Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
Right before the anticipated winter break, my students were reading Fahrenheit 451. At the end of the novel, a character named Granger proposes building a mirror factory in order to rebuild and transform their current shattered society. He believes that a mirror factory would allow mankind to look at itself.
Many class discussions revolved around the meaning of a mirror and it's connection with personal awareness.
Mirrors are a symbol of self-understanding, of seeing oneself clearly, even if the image reflected back at us is one of brokenness.
In order to heal and grow, we must acknowledge our past and current follies and reflect on whom we desire to be.
Reflection equals progression.
I will admit that one of my biggest fears (especially being a therapist) is regressing back to old unhealthy patterns and remaining stagnant.
I "should" know better right...?
This career path heavily promotes change and development, yet I often struggle with personal growth.
Have you ever been hesitant to move forward?
CHANGE...
Why are you so difficult?
so scary?
so incredibly painful?
Why do you often seem impossible?
Or hopeless?
We often sit in our unpleasant stench filled stagnant circumstance because it is familiar.
It's a comfortable discomfort.
It is known.
To change, means being thrown into unfamiliar and unexpected territory.
Learning to navigate a new course of habits often seems like too much work or simply frightening.
Yet, CHANGE, you ARE a necessity.
As we come to the end of 2015, many ponderings will begin to take place. Reflect on where you are and where you’ve been. An important part of prepping yourself for the New Year is reviewing the past year, learning from it, and releasing it.
Although I wasn’t able to accomplish or become everything I had hoped for this year, there were still many lessons learned that ultimately made me a healthier individual.
I learned…
1. The Intentional Yes
“No” is an acceptable and sometimes needed answer. Saying yes to too many requests has often times left me feeling depleted. I have learned to become more intentional with my yeses. I am one person and it is impossible for me to do everything and be everywhere (even though my overachieving stubborn ass thinks I can). The more intentional I am with my time and heart, the more I am able to be fully present and enjoy my company or activity I am participating in.
2. Repeated Mistakes Doesn't Equal Failure or Lack of Progression.
Am I the same person I was in 2014?
Definitely not.
Am I the best version of myself and no longer need growth and healing?
Ha, I wish.
Am I getting better at recognizing and processing what led to these mistakes and having more self-reflection and awareness?
Absolutely.
Every year, we become different versions of ourselves. Yes, we possess remnants of old patterns, but we are stronger and more self-aware. Although mistakes can leave us feeling disappointed in ourselves, this time we can make the choice to learn and change. To me, that represents a successful year. Although our past is a part of us, it definitely does not define us.
3. Relationships Change (platonic, romantic, professional, family, etc) and that's ok.
This year I have felt the pressure to maintain relationships exactly the way they used to be or the way I have always known them to be.
But then I began to realize that people change.
Circumstances change.
I changed.
Learning how to balance and mold "old" relationships into "new" relationships has brought some discomfort, yet breathed beauty into many of my relationships.
Blocking or preventing change was essentially blocking and preventing the opportunity for new experiences.
Understanding that relationships are malleable has lessened the pressure and guilt and given me a whole new perspective on how to be a different (which doesn't necessarily mean bad) kind of friend, sibling, daughter, and professional. Allowing the ebb and flow of relationships has given rise to deeper conversations, authentic communication, and transparent love. Not only do I personally want to change and develop, but I would also like to allow my relationships to as well.
As you close out your 2015, here are a few suggested questions to ask yourself:
- What have I learned this year about myself (the positives and areas of needed growth)?
- What am I most proud of this year? What did I do well? What did I accomplish?
- What were my biggest obstacles and challenges of this year? How did I overcome them?
- How am I different this year from last?
- What would I have done differently? Why? And what can I do differently next year?
In his song, “Who do you believe in,” rapper 2Pac (yes, I am quoting 90’s rap because I love it) stated, “What is it we all fear, reflections in the mirror. We can’t escape fate, the end is gettin nearer.”
Instead of being afraid of what we might see, lets make 2016 a year of brave and beautiful reflections.
So cheers to you 2015 and thanks for all the much needed life lessons.
Hugs! -Judy
Brea, CA